To Infinity and Beyond......

So, last night I have two girlfriends over to watch Grey's, eat brownies and DISH. Our kids are having a fabulous time, playing video games and Hullabaloo. Then they decide, let's get dressed in our Halloween costumes. We've got Alice in Wonderland, various Power Rangers and my son, Buzz Lightyear.

Let me begin by saying curses to the Disney Company for the way in which they made this year's BL costume. It is made out of 100% vinyl. Living in the South Florida heat with a little boy who "sweats like a fat kid" - not a good combo. He has the outfit on for maybe, five minutes, and his underwear are DRENCHED WITH SWEAT!! Tell me, how on God's green earth he is going to be able to go trick or treating in 90 degree weather in this thing? But I digress.

So, Mick (BL) and Isaiah decide it's a great idea to FLY. You know, to infinity and beyond!! My little astronaut proceeds to climb up on to his dresser. Yes, mom was standing there. Told him he could do it ONE time and ONE TIME ONLY. He spreads his arms out, launches himself off the dresser - and lands on the planet (his bed).

I then say, "okay, guys, that's enough, out of the costumes."

Well, their intergalactic hearing as it is, does not hear "that's enough". I think they heard "let's do it again". This time for our guests to watch.

So, again, he climbs up onto his dresser. Same pose. Same launch.

But this time, something goes terribly wrong. "Houston, we have a problem."

He lands face down on his carpet. By way of hitting his forehead on the edge of his bed (the wooden slat) AND, gets rug burn on his chin.

TEARS. From mommy and Buzz. And mommy's friends.

Call my firefighter/EMT friend. "Do I need to take him to the ER?"

Within five minutes, he was playing VeggieTales video games. He's FINE. Amazing the resilience of little kids. But from now on, our feet will be planted FIRMLY on the ground.

who faaahted??

Okay, so this is totally not anything important or profound, as I don't really have profound moments...BUT, I was chatting with some girlfriends a few days ago and came to a realization....when your parents told you when you were younger that no one would remember something embarrassing you did - they lied!!

Out of nowhere, the memory of a girl (RS from hence forward) who passed gas during a church youth service came flooding to my mind and I DIED laughing!!!!!!!!! In fact, as I sit here and type I am laughing...I know, so mature!

See, this girl, RS, on multiple levels - funny. She had bright orange, troll-like hair. She had been trying to use the old self-tanners from the 80's. You know, the ones that turned your skin a nasty orangish-brown color. She had not washed it off of her hands, so her hands looked disgusting. She had super pale skin, except between her fingers, where she was dayglo orange!

So she was sitting directly in front of me during church and passing notes to her boyfriend. When he passed the note back to her, it fell on the floor. She leaned over to pick it up (sitting on a blue hard plastic chair) and just at that moment some air passed and REVERBERATED on the chair, creating the longest, loudest fart ever heard by human ears. Instead of just pretending like it didn't happen, RS yells out (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SERMON) "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAAAAHTED?"

Two rows of teenagers bust out laughing and then she stands up and runs out of the room. Well, I guess that question was answered!!

The thing is, you know her parents told her when she went home that night that "oh don't worry, they'll forget all about it" ---- No, they LIED. It has been maybe 18 years - yes, I'm getting THAT old and I have not forgotten about it, and it is AS funny, if not more so than it was back then!! Is that awful??? Does that make me a "Mean Girl"?? I don't think so. I hope not. Maybe I am mean, but come on, this is stinkin' funny!

So, now as a parent...what on earth am I going to tell my kids to make them feel better when they do something mortifying?? 'Cause I now know that kids don't forget....or maybe it's just us mean ones that don't forget??

Brown and Fuzzy.....

Okay, so this may seem like a silly post, BUT, it's just too cute not to share!

My son was telling one of my best friends about a kid in his class who won't stop sucking his thumb. He's going on and on and on about it and how it really bothers him that this boy won't stop sucking his thumb. So Devin asks him which kid it is and his response is, "it's Bory, you know, he's brown (long pause, thinking really hard about how to describe his little friend), he has hair like I do but its fuzzy"!! So, that is how my son describes those of African descent!! But even better is my friend Joycy (who happens to be black) - well, her son who is in first grade describes his girlfriend as "peach with green eyes"!!

Aaaah. How refreshing. How truly inspired are these two precious little boys? Even though they notice that there is a difference in the color of their skin they also notice that there is no difference between them - that they are both God's children and equal.

Just wanted to share. I thought it was cool. You??

My new habit (and not the black and white kind)

Okay, so Labor Day was officially THIRTY-SIX days ago. I am proud to announce that I have yet to lose control of the clutter, the messiness, the laundry, the dishes, the grocery shopping! Right now, there are toys on the floor and my kids are having a fabulous time playing with my daughter's rubberbands and using them as car launchers in the kitchen, so if you walked in right now, you might think it's messy - but I would beg to differ. It's an "organized chaos". When they are finished playing, it will take all of twenty seconds to clean it up.
My laundry is caught up (still), my floors are mopped, my shower doors are SPOTLESS, the toilets are cleaned.....such an amazing feeling!!! I'm starting to wonder though, why am I putting so much energy into this endeavor?
I'll tell you why.
Because I truly feel more at peace and more in control of my house than I have in ten years! I know where everything is. I know how long it takes to clean the house from top to bottom! It really is an amazing thing. So, for all of you folks who have known me since adolescence, you can teach an old dog new tricks!
Happy Cleaning!

To Ebay or not to ebay? THAT is the Question!!

So, I've spent the past three hours taking inventory of my kid's clothes that no longer fit, taking the pictures, writing down the details, etcetera, etcetera only to sit on ebay for another hour to begin loading it all so that I can try to sell these darn clothes!
See, I used to give them all away. GIVE, as in for FREE - but I don't exactly have cheap taste. Yes, I get good deals on everything I buy, but I don't get deals like FREE - so tell me, WHY should I be responsible for clothing all the children of the world? You know, red and yellow, black and white. And in expensive clothes, no less!
Now, before anyone complains to me that I should donate these clothes to a charity, I have a separate box of those clothes. The ones I'm selling are ones that I think could actually garner some moolah, which I am in need of!! Kapish?
So anyways, back to ebay. I've now loaded 17 items and I'm only halfway finished and the stinkin' site won't let me continue - apparently they are doing maintenance for the next few hours. This, after I typed in all the information about the size 8 red tennis shoes for girls, which by the way, too cute.
Well, that's my rant for now. I've got tons more but it's two o'clock in the morning and quite frankly, I am exhausted. We'll talk again soon.