won't you be my neighbor?

Today was a great day, aside from the fact that after I got home from showing homes to a client, started dinner (well, sort-of, it was mac and cheese in the blue box) and got the kids and their friend inside the house and cleaned up, my doorbell rang.

Standing on the front porch is my local police officer. I open the door cautiously, holding back Mojito from licking him to death. He says to me, "ma'am, would you mind talking to me about your neighbor?"

Me: uh, uh, what would you like to know?
PO: well, he says your kids are driving some scooters?
Me: No, they don't have scooters, they have the little Jeep power wheels
PO: Well, he claims that your kids were on his property and that the Jeep got stuck under his car and his daughter had to move it
Me: I highly doubt that, see, officer, last year, this very same crazy man stood in the middle of the street yelling at me and another neighbor about how we don't watch our children and just let them run willy nilly around the neighborhood, how we allow our kids to draw on his driveway and that he is the owner of the sidewalk. You see, sir, the man next door is CRAZY. He has a camera pointed at the driveway and another camera on the back side of his house. He keeps the window of his front door boarded up. Quite honestly, sir, I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a meth lab in there, or maybe he's producing porn in the garage. I really don't know. All I do know is that under NO circumstance was my child or children EVER on his property. This I know because each and every parent on my street KNOWS that the kids must stay off of his driveway.
(I took a breath here)
Now, Officer M, my father was watching the kids, so if by some mistake, one of them crossed over onto his property, I apologize, please let him know it will never happen again.
PO: Thank you ma'am. I'm not writing a report but here's my number if you have any problems. Maybe you could have a barbecue and invite him over and become friends.
Me: Mmmmmm, yeah, I don't see that happening. And, I would like it if you wrote up a report, just so there is a record someplace of this man's lunacy.
PO: Okay, well, uh, have a good evening. Sorry to bother you.

Can you believe this guy????? Aack!!! This man is completely insane. I swear to you, in the three years we've lived here, they have had ONE guest!! Seriously. (I am a nosy neighbor, in case you were wondering) So, I'm waiting for your ideas on how to plot my revenge....remember, there are cameras so it has to be fast and I can not be identifiable. Ok?

On another note, it's midnight and I just now realized that I've been walking around with my underwear on backwards. How on earth did I not notice? I mean, they're not a thong, so I guess, maybe....but, no, I think I just was having one of those days.

Happy Thursday to you all!! Don't forget -- post ideas!!

oh no she didn't....

Today was one of those hysterical days where everything that comes out of the mouths of the babes just sounds really silly. I know we've all thought, "oh, there's something I'd never hear" - but here's just a few of the things that I have uttered most recently...

"K, get the lime out of your underwear"
"K, don't suck the dog"
"K, don't put coins in your panties"
"K, I'm serious, get the lime out of your underwear"

I wanted to post the picture of the Princess with a lime in her underwear, but, decided it might border on distasteful. So instead, I will describe it for you. It all started when Princess K decided to put a lime in her shirt - around the belly area. "Look, I have a baby in my belly"

Fast forward ten minutes and all of her clothes have come off, except the little pink panties. The pink panties that now house a very large sized lime in the front! I really, honestly, tried not to laugh. But seriously? If you saw your almost three year old with a lime in her underwear, you'd react just the same - you'd grab the camera and laugh until you cried, which is exactly what I did!!

So instead of embarrasing her for life with that picture, I've decided to post a photo that shows just how girly and sweet she really is.
I pray you're having a good week so far. And, yes, I've joined Weight Watchers. Will report on progress next week, after I've done it for a full week....so far, so good, though. Peace.

friendship

I just hung up from a lengthy phone conversation with one of my oldest friends. We haven't spoken to each other in over ten years and until last year had no contact whatsoever. I'm so thankful and happy that we are now "together" once again. Isn't it amazing how you can not talk to someone for such a long time and pick up right where you left off??

She said to me, "I feel like I know you again"....me too. I can't wait for our kids to meet each other and to play, maybe in the surf, or maybe in the mountains.

I also think how incredible it is that we were not in each other's lives and still ended up on the same path....kids the same ages, same faith, same values. Life is so much more wonderful with a friend. A true friend.

She knows all about my dorkiness in high school and loves me just the same, or rather, loved me just the same. We were so alike, most thought we were sisters and deep down, she is my sister. I love you, RS. Thanks for a second chance.

holy cow!!!!

I'm not responding to my recent venture on the scale; but, rather, I am shocked that it has been SIX days since I last posted anything! Wow.

Hmmmmmm, what to tell. I saw my shrink again. Gained three more pounds. Found out my insurance pays for Weight Watchers. Starting this week. I just need to lose 20 lbs., that's it. I'd be happy with 15 but ECSTATIC with 20. Definitely. Will go online and sign up. Tomorrow. For sure.

I did read a book over the weekend. Can you keep a secret? by Sophie Kinsella - basic chick lit. It was eh, pretty good. I also saw 27 dresses - it was cute but if you have any friends who are expecting - go see it with them because apparently it can help induce labor. My friends Amy and Jen and I went Sunday night. I looked at Jen and said "you're having that baby any day now" (EDD was Feb 8) - she went into labor that evening!!!!! Pleased to announce little Hannah Lynn was born yesterday evening! She's just a tiny little five pound darling!! Can't wait to get my hands on her!

Also, have you ever noticed how everything seems cooler if you add "licious" to it? As in, bootylicious? Yea, I thought so too, so I've coined "vomitlicious" - it really could have multiple meanings and uses, like

a. you're covered in baby vomit - yeah, you're vomitlicious
b. you're so full of food - you could become vomitlicious
c. you've had five days of cleaning up puke - yep, again, you're vomitlicious

Vomitlicious could even be a smell.....as in, you smell vomitlicious - that lovely aroma of vomit and peanut butter and jelly.

Have a Happy Happy Wednesday and I'll try to do better this week. Oh, and any of you who have ever done WW, HELP! LOL

i've been tagged!

Okay, so I've never done a meme before and am very excited (and scared) to do one finally! Thank you, Smitty76...this ought to be fun!

So here are the instructions:
Archive Meme Instructions: Go back through your archives and post the links to your five favorite blog posts that you’ve written. But there is a catch:

Link 1 must be about family.
Link 2 must be about friends.
Link 3 must be about yourself, who you are… what you’re all about.
Link 4 must be about something you love.
Link 5 can be anything you choose

.
Link 1: HERE
Link 2: HERE
Link 3: HERE
Link 4: HERE
Link 5: HERE

Now, just a little bit of explanation - I try not to write about my friends and family in such a way that anyone would recognize them so some of these links may not be totally relevant. And I also came across this and had to add it. Good luck getting it out of your head! LOL

Hmmmmmm....now I tag Keri and Dawn at stripeycat and thoughts from along the broken road. Can't wait to see your posts!!

Have a great rest of the day!