Really. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, but...
Apparently, the war inside my head is still raging and there doesn't seem to be anything (aside from medication) I can do about it. I got to thinking this evening that I used to do my best writing between the hours of midnight and two in the morning. I did my best housework. I did my best scrapbooking. They say that made me bipolar. Is that really true? Nah. I can't be bipolar. That's for criminals and weirdo, psycho people. Maybe I am just one of those people who actually IS a nightowl. Maybe I really CAN function on less than four hours of sleep a night. Maybe I'm just moody. Maybe??
Only problem with that thought process is that I finally burned out over the summer and unfortunately, those things that I was doing so well during my manic episode have faltered greatly. My house is a mess. I haven't done ANY scrapbooking since January. The calendars aren't updated. I just feel, I don't know.....blah. Did I mention my house is in a constant state of chaos?
I do not like the chaos. I do not like the mess. Right now I'm thinking I would rather be in my manic state, if that makes any sense. I see the shrink lady on Friday, so maybe she can offer some insight. I know that people who are manic depressive or bipolar as we now are referred to, almost always want to come off their meds becuase they feel fine or they feel better in their alternative state.....I don't know. I just don't know.