Thursday, December 29, 2011

takin' a trip...

down memory lane, that is.

I've spent the past two hours reading the past five years of blog posts. Amazing the things you forget. In 2007/2008 (by far, my best 2 years of writing), apparently, my daughter frequently put fruit down her pants. My son peed on the train table. I yelled at a woman in Wal-Mart, calling her a "big dummy"...I ranted about Christmas decorations coming up too early, reconnected with an old friend, and just lived life. I shared some rough times and some things that most people might be embarrassed to talk about...

All of you who have been part of this blog world of mine, mean so much to me. You've given feedback, you've watched as my kids have gotten bigger, you've listened to me as I worked through depression and weight gain. And, now you're here with me now, as I get ready to take on what is likely to be the hardest time of my life.

In reading tonight, I realized just how much I truly love to share...even if it's a mundane story, we can only learn from one another if we share with each other. So, here's to being transparent and open and getting to know one another again in 2012.

Have a Happy New Year.


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

and so it goes...

Not a lot to report..I've met with my team of doctors, had an MRI, cut my hair really short and have tried to not let cancer be the only thing I talk or think about.

We finally told the kids...they were really good about it. Princess K thought I was contagious and Little Prince thought it was hilarious that I'm going to be bald. They both have definite opinions too on whether or not I wear a wig or scarf...I really didn't think they'd care, but they do!

I have a PET/CT scan this week to see if the cancer has spread. My MRI shows nodes affected BUT that could be residual "activity" from the biopsy. And, surgery is two weeks from tomorrow.

Emotionally, I think I'm doing rather well...waiting to have my breakdown moment, actually. Praying that doesn't happen. I'm blessed to have so many people who love me and are praying for me.

I read this in a devotional the other day and cant get it out of my mind..."The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant." -Rick Warren

My prayer during this season is that I will truly feel God's hand in my life and that I will come out knowing that his strength is perfect.