Hee hee. Tomorrow is the big day!! Mojito loses his manhood...I think he might sense it, too. Has not been his normal annoying, yippy self. Kinda seems like he's a little bit depressed, but I guess I would too. Nah, if womanhood is defined by ovaries, they can take 'em!
I've started looking for a job. Real estate is not cutting it anymore. I'm actually trying to get in good with the banks and start doing broker price opinions, that way, I can stay home with Princess K and my kids won't have to be at "camp" every day all summer long. AAAAGGHH!!
I really don't want to go back to work, at least, not in the "traditional" sense. I do not want to have to commute (really bad here!), I don't want to have to dress a certain way and I sure as heck don't want to leave my house. I haven't had a "job" since 2002. The thought sends me to that place. You know, that place where I just want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers up and sleep and dream of days when I was seventeen and not a care in the world.
Today, too, I was watching Oprah and Henry Winkler was on...I was very inspired by him. He had all of these obstacles, he was dyslexic and didn't know until he was 31 and NOW, he writes kids' books and tells every kid he comes into contact with "you're going to be great, you have greatness"...what an encouragement. Sometimes I wish people in my life as a child had been a bit more encouraging. No one ever told me I could NOT do anything but they never really said I COULD.
I have sung since I began, and maybe before, I began to speak. My voice teacher wanted to submit an audition tape for Star Search. I sang in church and got standing ovations. My first public performance was before 1500 people. I'm told every day that I have this special gift. I know I have a gift, but why did I not pursue singing as a career? Why did I not think I was good enough? Why did I sell myself short? And, more importantly, why do I think I'm not good enough at a lot of things? Am I sabotaging myself or am I just being realistic?