So, I'm picking up some fruit because they have THE best selection of produce. I grab a tub of raspberries, blackberries and then saunter to the grapes. Hmmmmm, those look good, I think to myself. Wait a second, let's back it up.
I visited my shrink today. In case you've forgotten, I started a new medication two weeks ago - right now I think it is a miracle drug. I'm sleeping like a baby, not snappy and edgy BUT I have gained FIVE pounds in TWO weeks. Guess what this genius doctor says to me!?!
DR: the pills are giving you an appetite, huh?
ME: uh, if you mean only craving sweets and shoving them into my face then yeah, those pills give me an appetite
DR: well, you control how much and what you put in your mouth
ME: (staring blankly at him, trying to decide what object in the room has the sharpest point) then I stammer, uh, yeah, I know, I know
then he says:
DR: you need to surround yourself with good foods, not cookies, and eat less and exercise more
ME: (trying not to scream expletives at him) yeah, I know
Like I didn't KNOW that I'm supposed to eat less and workout more. Big dummy (see shopping at Wal-Mart post) - for those of you who really know me, you know big dummy is not the first phrase that came to mind. LOL.
So, now I'm at the grocery store, buying fruits and veggies, because I've gained five pounds in two weeks. By New Year's I'll be weighing in at the truck stop. Kidding. So, I grab a bag of grapes, my kids like them, I like them. Good. We'll snack on those instead of the butter cookies in the tin.
Now I'm in the checkout. The grapes get rung up last. I look at the screen. I actually, literally did a double take. They were $9.30!!!! NINE DOLLARS AND THIRTY CENTS. FOR GRAPES. GRAPES. A bag of grapes. Not grapes a la gold. No diamond accented grapes. Just your plain old, run of the mill, seedless red grapes.
I had the checkout girl take them back. I'm not paying what could be a bottle of wine for a bag of grapes. Ugh.
5 comments:
First thought...why are you seeing a man shrink?! A woman would have never said that! She would have handed you a chocolate and said "Hey, do you want to be happy or skinny?!"
Hang in there!
Ugh, this is why I only buy grapes when they go on sale for ninety-nine cents a pound! LOL It's ridiculous! I had a similar experience where I saw $7 and change pop up on the check out screen and I almost passed out...but was too embarrassed to take them out. LOL
Too funny!
I just got a box of grapes deliver'd and there in the middle was one wearing a fuzzy suit... Ewwwww. I'm glad i didn't give my first born for them though.
I'd go with the wine first anyhow...
"I'm not paying what could be a bottle of wine for a bag of grapes." Me neither, unless they would come home with me and make some fresh wine! LOL
Ok...I go to Walmart ever Saturday, let me know when you need grapes. There much cheaper there! And I have to say, female doc's are any more sensitive than male doc's. When I got sick and couldn't eat for a week, she informed me that it's a good thing because now I could shed a few needed pounds. Hate her(sigh). You, however, are the tiniest thing ever...so yes, next time pick something up and throw it at him.
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