Thursday, October 18, 2007

who faaahted??

Okay, so this is totally not anything important or profound, as I don't really have profound moments...BUT, I was chatting with some girlfriends a few days ago and came to a realization....when your parents told you when you were younger that no one would remember something embarrassing you did - they lied!!

Out of nowhere, the memory of a girl (RS from hence forward) who passed gas during a church youth service came flooding to my mind and I DIED laughing!!!!!!!!! In fact, as I sit here and type I am laughing...I know, so mature!

See, this girl, RS, on multiple levels - funny. She had bright orange, troll-like hair. She had been trying to use the old self-tanners from the 80's. You know, the ones that turned your skin a nasty orangish-brown color. She had not washed it off of her hands, so her hands looked disgusting. She had super pale skin, except between her fingers, where she was dayglo orange!

So she was sitting directly in front of me during church and passing notes to her boyfriend. When he passed the note back to her, it fell on the floor. She leaned over to pick it up (sitting on a blue hard plastic chair) and just at that moment some air passed and REVERBERATED on the chair, creating the longest, loudest fart ever heard by human ears. Instead of just pretending like it didn't happen, RS yells out (IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SERMON) "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAAAAHTED?"

Two rows of teenagers bust out laughing and then she stands up and runs out of the room. Well, I guess that question was answered!!

The thing is, you know her parents told her when she went home that night that "oh don't worry, they'll forget all about it" ---- No, they LIED. It has been maybe 18 years - yes, I'm getting THAT old and I have not forgotten about it, and it is AS funny, if not more so than it was back then!! Is that awful??? Does that make me a "Mean Girl"?? I don't think so. I hope not. Maybe I am mean, but come on, this is stinkin' funny!

So, now as a parent...what on earth am I going to tell my kids to make them feel better when they do something mortifying?? 'Cause I now know that kids don't forget....or maybe it's just us mean ones that don't forget??


devinisagirlsname said...

Wow do I ever have a fantastic mental image of this one.... so true. PEOPLE NEVER FORGET! haha!

Smitty76 said...

Hi April...I saw a comment you had posted on Keri's blog and thought "Hmmm...I didn't write that!" my name is April too. ;-) Anyway, your memory just made me laugh out loud...there are some mortifying moments in time that I personally will NEVER forget, no matter what my parents told me. So no words of wisdom here, just good luck! ;-)

Anonymous said...

April- When I read the email about the CAC farter, I about crapped my pants. Thanks for the walk down memory lane! I believe that in the two rows of laughing teens, we were probably- no, certainly- laughing the hardest!

As for the squashed dreams, mommies live with those every day! Not that I don't love parenting, but the best book I ever read is I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids.

If your dreams are related to singing, just know that I always measure EVERY professional singer to whether they could nail a song the way you can! God would I love to have you sing bedtime songs to my kids at night.

And, I know you aren't suicidal. Who has time for all of the planning that would need to be done to get it right?!?!??

Much love, Robin

BeccaCrea said...

If remembering the humiliating moments makes you a "mean girl" then count me in...because to this day I still taunt my best friend about peeing in front of the whole class in the fifth grade. And yes, I laughed at her then too!

Rick said...

Funny - very funny. What an strange topic for a blog - still - funny - very funny.