Tuesday, November 06, 2007

please pray for my daughter...

This might seem like an odd spot to do this, but I'm asking those of you who visit this site, to please say a prayer for my daughter, K. She is having a procedure today that requires she go under general anesthesia for about 15 minutes. The actual "surgery" is only about five minutes BUT, she's never had any type of anesthesia, and I'm really nervous about it.

I don't know why this time is making me so nervous. My son had to have a fairly major urology surgery when he was barely one. I wasn't half as nervous about that one as I am about this one. She has what is known as "labial fusions" - men who are reading, you may want to stop now. Basically, from my understanding, the body is looking at the opening as a "wound" and keeps "healing itself", so the doctor will go in today and open it back up. No stitches are required and she'll be a little sore for a few days when she goes potty.

The amazing thing is that she hasn't been complaining about it at all. Our pediatrician said it's mind boggling that she hasn't been screaming whenever she goes to the bathroom. That helps me to know that she is a really strong little girl. But, I'm still scared. I'm really scared.

What if? What if she doesn't wake up? That's a horrible thing to think, I know, but all evening, that's what I've been thinking. I cannot imagine my life without her. Daughters just have a special place in our lives. I honestly just LOVE spending time with her. She's so much fun! I've spent the past two and a half hours crying at my computer. Sending emails to friends, asking them to remember her tomorrow. To remember my husband and I. Wondering if I'm feeling this way because my intuition is telling me to cancel the surgery? Am I PMS-ing? Am I sleep deprived? Why am I freaking out like this? Maybe I'm just ultra sensitive because I, as a female, can't imagine what it is that they're going to be doing to her later today. I don't know.

Waiting in the hospital waiting room has got to be one of the most awful experiences any parent can go through. When my son had his surgery, they had given us an idea as to when they would be finished. That time came and went. I started panicking! Finally, a nurse came out to tell us he was fine, the surgery went fantastic and that our doctor would be out in a few minutes. The floodgates opened!! This mommy really thought for a moment or two, that things had not gone well and that I might not see my little boy alive again.

So, if you think about it, please say a prayer for us today. I truly appreciate it. I'm sure I've shared too much personal information here, but more than anything, I need to get it off my chest. I have to get up in four hours, so I'm going to go snuggle with my little princess. Goodnight for now.


Keri said...

My heart is breaking for you to have to go through this. I can feel the same fear about being without my little Ava. Little girls are such BRIGHT lights.
I will pray, beg, and bargain for your little one today. Everything will go smooth and quickly. In no time you will be able to hug and hold her and make everything better.
Please know you all will be in my prayers and thoughts all day.

Smitty76 said...

Oh no I am so sorry she has to go through this...I'm not a mother yet but I can only imagine how horrible it would feel to see my child have to go through any kind of surgical procedure, and to feel so helpless. I will pray that it goes swiftly and perfectly and that she comes out just as happy as she is now! Your daughter DOES sound like a strong little girl so I'm POSITIVE she will be fine!!! xoxoxoxox April